Jang is in a real pickle

[rosebaby3892]

Professor Norman laughs: Lucy still hasn't understood that brain power and knowledge are two different things. To store all her knowledge, she'll just need an Amiga 500.
Except that the Koreans outside have taken advantage and managed to stick a rocket in the door while Lucy was at 99% brain usage. So Mr. Jang arrives, gun in hand, and under the stunned eyes of the scientists (all the police officers in the hallway who were still alive a second ago have apparently gone to poop), points a gun at Lucy. He stays like that for a good 40 phone number library seconds, again for no reason, until Lucy suddenly reaches 100% brain usage... and disappears the second Jang fires!

OH WELL! It's so original that I think I have 87 copies of it in my Panini album "  Stinking Clichés & Gross Strings. " I'm actually trading these stickers for the legendary rare Ridley Scott card, the one with the gold edges.

But anyway.

he's just stupidly shot an empty chair. He's doubly pickleed when Del Rio, who was alive and well, right next to the door he was supposed to be defending, but had let Jang in without disturbing him, makes his grand return without any explanation (why start now?) and shoots the bad guy, who collapses into the chair in question. Del Rio and the scientists find themselves in the room, a little embarrassed and without knowing what to do. All that's left of Lucy is the huge computer in the middle, from which pops out... a USB key.

Which, as soon as it is entered, causes the computer to crumble into dust: it has done its job.

All the knowledge Lucy has accumulated is therefore on this particularly ugly key (special shout-out to the rotten special effect to give the impression that there are stars moving on the shell), and we imagine that if Lucy had been born 15 years earlier, she would have generated a shimmering 5 1/2 inch floppy disk, which would have been a lot classier. Everyone looks at each other and is very happy: she has accomplished her mission.

She left humanity the only USB drive powerful enough to store all the world's porn once they format the crap Lucy left on it.

Del Rio, still quite annoyed because he would have liked another kiss, asks everyone, "  Well? Where is she? " 

And a text message on his phone replies:

"  I'm everywhere, lol ."

As Del Rio ponders the implications of having an invisible, omniscient Scarlett Johansson, especially regarding her usual shower activities, Lucy's voiceover accompanies the camera as it recedes.


You think I'm exaggerating about the philosophical-prout-prout bullshit of this film and its final sentence? Then tell yourself that I didn't tell you, while Lucy is in her chair approaching 100% brain capacity, about the scenes where Lucy travels through time (yes), space (also), touches Lucy the Australopithecus's finger Sistine Chapel style, just for fun, and sees that the universe is in fact just a big egg that got impregnated by interstellar semen (yes, there too). Because yes, the cosmos also has its sexuality. It's like that. Sometimes, it goes to a club, meets a stranger and bam, big bang in the back of the Twingo.